i just need to vent

ugh so i dont even like looking at my posts on here anymore, i feel so sad and pathetic for letting stupid boys get the best of me so much back then. like it sickens me to see how affected and troubled i was! i wanna slap myself in the face for dwelling on it. but its whatever, it was important to me back then and ive learned a lot from those times. for example:

1) if someone wants to talk to you, they will. the phone line goes both ways.

2) don’t feel guilty for losing touch with people; it happens. not everyone stays in each others lives forever and if your presence was important to them, they’d make an effort to keep you around.

3) you don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you.

4) don’t fight to stay in people’s lives, if they wanted you there then you would be.

5) how you feel about yourself is always priority before how anyone feels about you.

6) you dont need “closure” to move on. yeah sometimes it’s nice to be able to metaphorically close the door on something but life doesnt always work that way and damn right you’re going to survive without closing the door, just walk past it.

7) don’t water a dead flower.

8) stop convincing yourself that it’s wrong to feel the way you do.

9) stop believing you owe something to someone.

10) stop second guessing yourself.

11) stop believing it’s okay to live without a shoulder to cry on or a person to talk to or a person to offer you hugs.

12) stop convincing yourself that your entire life is some karmic payback cycle and that everything you fucking do will come back to you, that because you stopped texting that one sort of nice guy in high school because you just didn’t want to talk and you couldn’t explain it to him without feeling like a bitch is the reason why the guy you practically fell for in a couple days never replied to you and just dropped you from his world.

seriously just stop thinking you deserve everything thats happened to you because i honestly dont think everyone in this life gets what they deserve and you’re foolish for sitting here contemplating every move you’ve ever made trying to pinpoint at exactly what point your life went wrong for you because life isn’t right or wrong, it’s just life. yeah there’s actions and consequences and causes and effects but just because it didn’t work out with one thing doesn’t mean the sun isn’t going to rise in the east and not reach the west. you need to start thinking differently because all you have is you. at the end of the day when everything is silent and everyone is sleeping, whose voice is telling you tomorrow is a new day? yours. when you’re just a little sad and you shed a tear in the shower because no one will notice and you don’t have to explain anything to anyone, who wipes it away even though the water will wash it away? you. when you come into work crying because life just sucks sometimes and you know if you let someone care about you you will completely break down, who calms you down and gets you to relax? you.

i dont know why i feel the way i do. i dont know when it started but i miss the old me. i feel like i was better at handling things and i wasn’t so set on finding a guy to be with and i was happy to just be going to school or to work or whatever. you totally threw me off and im so mad at you for that. im so mad that ive repressed all this and i didnt talk to you about it. im so mad that you didnt give me the chance to talk to you about it and im so mad that you decided not texting me back was the easiest way to go about it. im so mad that you will never know how much you hurt me. im mad that it hurt me that much! im not going to deny it though. you hurt me. really bad. im mad that the way i have to get over you is the same as everyone else: delete your number, stop remembering the good times, stop remembering that you exist and that you’re out there. thats literally all i can do, is move on. somehow. its just so hard because there’s nothing i can be really mad at you for. i mean with ethan it was cause the whole chivy thing. he never changed so i did and now im over it and now i pity where he’s at. with martin it was because he changed to this weird physically demanding boy who i wanted nothing to do with so now im over it. with erick it was because he was childish and couldn’t deal with me or with jazmine and i didn’t need that in my life so i got over it. with you it’s hard! what do i have to go off? the slight notion that there might have been someone else?? okay lol we knew each other for like a month and it was not that serious and if there was someone else then okay cool im fine. literally all i can be mad about is how shallow you were to write me off because i didnt kiss you. thats all i can be mad at you for. the fact that you didnt listen to me when i said i didnt know how to be physical with you and it wasn’t cause i didnt want to but because i didnt want to become more attached. ugh im so fucking pissed and bitter! im so attached to my phone hoping you’ll text me! im so mad that you dont care more. im so mad. and im tired of being mad. really tired of it. i cant believe i texted you on christmas like i dont even know what i was hoping to get out of that. i was hoping i would remind you of my witty humor and my easygoingness and you would sort of miss me and kinda regret ditching me. but nope. none of that happened. you did the same thing you had been doing and just didnt text me back. i deleted your number again and i cant wait until that urge to talk to you goes away. i cant wait to stop periodically checking your insta hoping you’ve posted or been tagged. i cant wait to stop being obsessed with you, or what we had or what we could have had. i cant wait to be over you! i know the day will come and i cant wait for it. i really want this to be different than the others. i want to be able to say “oh yeah we just didn’t work out, it happens” and thats it. i dont want any bitterness towards you or any harsh feelings, i even wanted to be your friend because you’re that cool but i don’t think thats possible lol ugh anyways this felt pretty good to get out. its whatever. im getting over it.

holy cow.

okay so it has been 3 months since my last post. i’m supposed to be typing an essay that is due tomorrow. and what am i doing instead? REREADING ALL MY OLD POSTS AND CRYING AND LISTENING TO SAD MUSIC AND JUST DROWNING IN MY SADNESS.

i almost cried in 5th period. i cried on the way home from school. i just cried like 2 minutes ago. what is wrong with me today? why is today so sad for me? i noticed after reading all my old posts that i have changed so much. the girl who wrote those posts seems so hopeful and happy to be alive and she’s sad but she knows things won’t be like that forever. that is not who i am today.

i feel sad. all the time. sad for me, sad for other people, sad for things that happened in the past, sad for things that haven’t happened yet. i mean yeah i laugh and i smile and i make jokes and i still function normally, but i feel like something inside of me has changed. i am empty and i am bitter and i have lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. i don’t know where it’s gone or exactly when it left, but i feel like i will never be able to be happy again. and there are days where i can convince myself that i am happy and i have moved on from everything, but i have not. i don’t know why it takes so long, and i don’t know why it’s so hard. i just want to be better.

i don’t even know what type. i don’t know what i need to say to make myself feel better. i deleted his number today. first, i had just changed his contact name to a period so that i wouldn’t have to see his name if he ever texted me. then, i decided that the next time he texted me i would say “who is this” to make it seem like i had deleted his number. i told my close friend about this little “plan” i had and she said to just delete the number all together. so i did. and i feel weird now. any time an unknown number texts me i know my heart will jump a little in hopes that it’s him. if i see him at school and we smile at each other, my day is like 10 times better just because of that. what. the. fuck. is that. it’s not okay. i don’t want to be his friend. i want him to hurt, i want him to feel guilty, i want him to regret, i want him to feel all the things that i have felt for the last few months. and at the same time, i don’t. i want to be his friend, i want to talk to him all the time, i want to laugh at his jokes, i want his name to pop up on my phone, i want to smile at him at school, i want to hug him, i want him to like me and for me to like him.

i think i like my first choice: hating him. LOL things are better that way.

also, why does it make me sad to know that people care about me? for example, today in 5th period i was texting my best friends from back home and they were telling me about their current problems and i was giving them feedback. so basically i was totally absorbed into my phone, typing away encouraging essays, while having my headphones in. so it looked like i was having a bad day or like something was wrong with me. and my friend asked me what was wrong and said i looked like something was bothering me and (me being the bitch that i am) said “why do you care so much? why do you ask so many questions? can’t i just be on my phone?” and he just said “i’m sorry that i care” and i literally held back my tears. im like tearing up as i type this! i dont understand myself. why did that make me sad. to know that someone else on this planet cares about me besides my parents seems like such an absurd thing to do in my eyes. idk. it was weird. i apologized to him for being such a bitch. idk.

i really think i just need a hug. a good one. i need a random person to say “hey, you’re gonna be okay you know that? you won’t be like this forever. you have no reason to be sad or worried, you’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you and it’s a damn shame that you’re wasting it away by being sad about things you cannot control. forget your worries, forget the boy that hurt you, pretend he never existed. appreciate the people you have in your life right now because you know for a fact that they all care about you. surround yourself will all the goodness that the world has to offer. you can do it. i know you can. don’t be sad anymore.”

okay bye now

seriously, please forgive me ):

okay i know in my last post i said i was back and i was going to start posting regularly BUT I LIED im sorry ): i seriously just have no free time anymore and im really about to go to bed and i just wanted to post this real quickly because i felt like i just owed everyone a post! lol well in conclusion, i am alive and im hanging in there! i hope everyone is doing WONDERFUL.

 

okay bye now 

Hello ! I’m sorry i have neglected you, blog of mine.

i honestly don’t remember what my last entry consisted of or when it was posted, but i for sure know it was about something sad and depressing lol and i want to sincerely apologize to all my followers! not sure if you actually read my posts when they’re posted or if you just followed me for shits and giggles, BUT IM SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG D: i just couldn’t do it anymore. like i was really too emotional and having to document everything that happened in a single day was really too much. i just needed a break, that’s all. but im back!

lately i’ve been feeling really emotionally overwhelmed, and i feel like part of is it because i have nothing to do with all these feelings. i rarely discuss my problems with people, i just let them confide in me about their problems. and i feel like part of the reason why i’ve been emotionally overwhelmed is because i haven’t been blogging about it! so here i am again; to complain about my horrible teenage life. yaaaaaaayyyyyy

so i should give you guys an update! i think in my last post i was really upset about Martin and how things were just not working out. welp, half a month later, shit is still the same! lol after that post we actually got better and i liked him more than i ever had and we were honestly doing great. and then one night, idk what happened, but we just had another one of those talks about how things werent going to work out blah blah blah and i was just crying my eyes out the whole time. i was bawling. in my bed. alone. at night. and i told him i was crying and guess what he said. HE SAID HE WAS CRYING TOO omg it was really like one of the most beautiful moments i had ever experienced. we cared about each other so much that we were crying at the thought of losing one another. ugh i will never forget that lol but yeah! that happened. and then after that things just died down i guess. i think Martin just got tired of how things were going, how we would never hang out at school and stuff. and now when we talk, our conversations are just not what they used to be. i think he got bored of me. and you know that’s totally okay, but i wish he could just straight up tell me that’s how he feels instead of me sitting here guessing. 

there have been times where i’ve told him that i feel like im a bother to him or something and he always assures me that i could never bother him, that not talking to me would be weird. but even when he says those things, i still feel like i bother him! i still feel like an annoyance. i always am the one to text first. never him. i even tested my theory! my hypothesis: if Martin really wanted to talk to me everyday like he says he does, then he will text me first instead of me texting. results: HE DIDN’T TEXT ME FOR THE ENTIRE WEEKEND HAHHAHHAAHAHAHH on thursday we were texting and then he stopped replying late at night (i figured he fell asleep or something) and then he never texted friday during the day. so i gave in and texted him at around 7 and told him i wish he was going to the homecoming dance (because i was) and we exchanged a few messages and then he stopped replying. so i waited. and waited. and he didn’t text the entire weekend. so today i gave in and texted him. ): 

and now we’re texting. but i still have that feeling. that he doesn’t like me anymore and that he wants me to leave him alone. but at the same time part of me says to stay and fight. and i just dont know what to do with all these feelings anymore. next time im just going to have to suck it up and not text him. if he wants to talk, he can text me. the phone line goes both ways. 

help me please. 

okay bye now

i feel emotionally drained.

i honestly just feel like poop. i feel depressed. i just want to lay in my bed and watch cake boss all day and not have to worry about boys or friends or school or family or anything. im so tired of everything.

im tired of having constant problems with Martin. last night we had ANOTHER FIGHT. yup. *side note* i noticed that a lot of my followers are from the uk and stuff, and i am american, if you did not already know/notice lol so yeah i refer to a lot of “american” things so if you don’t know what i’m talking about then just comment below and i will clarify for you! lol okay *end the side note*AS I WAS SAYING, me and Martin had a fight last night because he got upset because i liked one of Leo’s pictures on instagram. to me, that is such a little and insignificant thing that i don’t understand why he had to go off on me. Martin said it upset him because i said that i would avoid Leo and liking his picture on instagram did not seem like i was avoiding him, in Martin’s eyes. What. The. Actual. Why. ME. after i tried to fix things and whatnot, Martin says “Im not asking you to do anything, it’s just me”

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. i understand that i hurt Martin with all the Leo stuff, but is that fair to me that Martin has to get mad at me about it on a regular basis? i’m the only that has to deal with Martin’s pain and stuff, i’m the only one that has to feel guilty. Leo doesn’t because he doesn’t even know that Martin knows. AND THAT’S NOT FAIR. why can’t Martin go off on Leo or something?! it just frustrated me in so many ways.

1. if Martin is going to get mad over A PICTURE ON INSTAGRAM then what else will he get mad at? what if a guy from class says hi to me and Martin sees it, would he get mad at me orrrrrr?

2. it seems like Martin will NEVER get over what happened. and you know what that’s fine, i honestly don’t get why i expected him to. i broke the trust between us once already. i simply cannot expect him to trust me 100% again, because trust is like a mirror. you can fix it if it’s broke but you can still see the cracks. and i put those cracks there.

after all these fights i’ve had with him over the same shit, i have realized that maybe this just isn’t going to work out. maybe Martin deserves someone better. someone who won’t hurt him like i have. maybe all the complications we’ve had is a sign saying “YOU CAN’T BE TOGETHER. IT WON’T WORK OUT” and i honestly believe that. if i liked him so much, wouldn’t it be so much easier just to be together instead of worrying about all these little problems? maybe i don’t like him as much as i thought i did. maybe i should just stop wasting his time and my time and just tell him to get over me. because i will never be able to give him what he wants. i couldn’t do it before and i can’t do it now. maybe i’m giving up. oh well.

i should do daily posts.

i just skimmed my last post (so i could see where i left off) and i feel like so much has changed! so in my last post i said how leo texted me and all that jazz, and how me and martin were kinda distant, and how samantha was ignoring me. WELL EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT NOW. the last time i talked to leo was that day he texted me. martin texted me like the next day i think and we were fine and all and then i asked him why he decided to never tell leo that he knew everything, and he said it was cause he didn’t want to start problems and that he doesn’t even talk to leo as a close friend anymore. then he asked me why i was asking and i told him about how leo had texted me the previous day and everything that went down and basically martin said that it was none of his business and that i don’t need to tell him everything leo says. then he said “yeah i get it thanks but it’s not like we’re really talking anymore so it’s not rally my business.” and that’s really when it hit me. i really like this boy and it just made me so mad/sad/frustrated that i was going to let samantha decide what i could with my life. LIKE WTF. idk after that i was being short with him and he asked me what was wrong and i just told him how i hated how things turned out, us having to just be friends and all. and he said he felt the same way but there was nothing we could really do. and then we just start talking about random stuffffsss and then i said 

“stfu”

he said “make me ;)”

“oh you don’t want me to ;)”

“i think i do ;)”  

“i’d tell you how i would do it, but i can’t! xD”

“-.-“

“like dissss *insert a bunch of cute kissing faces here*

AND THEN HE SAID “Deanna i don’t wanna change how we talked D’:”

I MEAN HOW CUTE IS THAT. this kid can’t resist me ;D lol but idk. after that we decided to be friends but still talk cute to each other ? because we really are just so used to it that idk, it’s really hard to stop. and i honestly was okay with that! i thought that it was an okay idea since we couldn’t “be together” because of all the samantha shit. he even told me shortly after “dude do me a favor” “what?” “don’t talk to Leo anymore lol” he said that because he says he’s a jealous guy lol so yeah i said i would ignore him as much as i could, and i was happy with all that AND THEN SHIT HIT THE FAN. the next day i believe, me and martin were fine and dandy and then out of nowhere in the conversation he says “i think Leo knows something” and i asked how and all that and martin was pretty much just “worried” that leo knew something about us because leo had asked martin if he was talking to anyone at the moment and idk D: then i said “well if leo texts me and asks if im talking to someone then i will just say no lol” because remember me and martin decided to just be friends right! THEN martin starts getting all short with me and i knew he was mad about something so i said “okay yeah i’ll just go to bed lol goodnight”

he said “night”

“why are you acting all mad?”

“im upset cause yesterday you said you’d ignore leo if he texted but right now you said you’d respond to him”

“oh, well i didn’t know it was going to be a problem to reply if he asked me a question. well if he texts me for any reason at all then i will ignore him since i know how much it bothers you.”

“now your just being fucken sarcastic and shit idc anymore do whatever you want, you shouldn’t not to do something cause of me”

“okay you know what just sorry for everything. im just trying to not fuck up and hurt you like i have before and somehow it just always backfires. so i just don’t know. i’ll leave you alone.”

THEN HE SAYS “that’s always your excuse”

“how the fuck is that an excuse? tell me.”

“everytime something happens you say i’ll leave you alone. instead of trying to do something. imagine if i did that.”

then i just sent him a long message saying how he’s confusing (because he fucking is am i right or am i right) and i said how i always manage to piss him off so my only option is to leave him alone. 

he says “okay if that’s what you want.”

“OH MY GOD what do YOU want!”

“i wish nothing ever happened between you and leo and i never found out about anything. honestly that’s when i get mad, when i think about it.”

first of all, i never even PHYSICALLY did anything with Leo! it was all just through text! so i think he is reacting just a little too much. i sent him a long message saying how i wasn’t proud of what i did but that i couldn’t take it back and that all i could do was try to make him happy and that that’s what i was trying to do. 

he says “im not asking you to do anything, it’s all me”

“just know at the end of the day, I LIKE YOU, not leo. okay?”

“okay”

“okay then.”

“goodnight thanks”

“ok” and that was itttttt. MAN ALL THAT HAPPENED IN LIKE TWO DAYS!! like i really don’t understand how me and martin go from good, to bad, to better, to the worst. LIKE HOW. WHY ME. gosh. so yeah. that was on thursday. it is now saturday. but i seriously am exhausted and these updates take a lot and they are reaaallllly long and i bet you don’t enjoy reading these monstrosities that often, so i’ll save the rest for next time! :D

okay bye now 

Everything is just confusing.

it makes me kind of sad that all i ever have to write about is my stupid boy drama, but i just need to get it out! i have no one else to talk to and i just have too many emotions so i just have to let it out somehow. ugh. so yeah.

current situation is that samantha is like ignoring me kinda, martin did not text me at all yesterday (which makes me sad) and yeah. but wanna know what’s really funny?!!?!?!? LEO TEXTED ME HAHAAHAH i haven’t talked to him in the longest time because i just try and avoid him as much as possible because of everything that happened with martin. anyways, he texted me out of the blue yesterday SERIOUSLY OUT OF THE BLUE and he was like “why do you hate me?” he asked this because whenever i see him in the halls at school i give him like a little mean but playful look and i guess he takes it seriously! so yeah, i said i didn’t hate him and blah blah blah and then AND THEN THIS IS THE GOOD PART he sends me a screenshot of one of the recent pictures i put up (of myself) on instagram and he says “tell me why i found this picture so fucking sexy?!” R U SRS OMG. every bone in my body wanted to be like “you can’t talk to me like that anymore, martin knows everything and i like him and i just can’t hurt him again so just stop” but i didn’t. all i said was “lmfao okay?!” and i said thanks and then we just changed the subject. call me stupid for not saying anything to him, but i just really felt like it wasn’t my place. if martin wanted leo to know he knew about everything, he would have told him. since martin didn’t tell him, that means he doesn’t really care about the friendship he has with leo (and that makes sense because i rarely ever see martin and leo together). IDK it just sucks. like thanks for making me feel good about the picture, but i mean c’mon have some respect for your friend. 

most likely i will text martin today and tell him about the leo thing and also tell him that samantha is giving me the cold shoulder. i might also tell him that i miss him LMAO seriously i am just out of line, i don’t talk to him for ONE day and i miss him. know what that’s called? IT’S CALLED BEING ATTACHED AND IT’S NOT A GOOD THING. 

if people ask me what’s wrong or why i am stressed, i wish i could say it’s for something important like school. but nope. i’m upset and stressed because of boys. i like martin more than i did last time, and i want something more with him other than texting all the time. but i can’t have that without compromising my frienship with samantha. ugh. i have decisions to make.

okay bye now

blog of mine, you are my savior.

i was walking home from school today and it was just in the back of my mind “i can’t wait to go home and blog about what shitty day i had!” how sad is that. it has come to the point where i tell no one my problems, my inner struggles, i only tell you. whoever is listening anyway. ALRIGHT TIME TO START COMPLAINING ABOUT MY LIFE! :D

so on my last post (posted yesterday) i was talking about how i didn’t know what to do about the whole Danny Martin issue and how to go about things with my friend Samantha. so yesterday i decided to man up and talk to her about it! not such a good talk. 

i said “were you serious about the whole martin thing?”

“yeah…”

“okay.”

“i’m not telling you not to talk to him or anything go for it”

“yes but i can only talk to him as a friend, correct”

“anyway you want”

“yeah but if it bothers you then i don’t want to? like it honestly seems like a problem for you and diana if i just text him. and i’m not trying to have problems with you two, you’re like my really close friends if not best.”

“do what you want i’m not going to control your life”

“but still, does it honestly bother you at all? that’s why i don’t hang out with him at school cause i don’t want you to secretly hate me”

“i mean yeah it bothers me, but it’s whatever”

“how is that whatever?”

“i’m not going to stop you from being with someone, and he’s my ex anyway” 

“ugh i’ve been avoiding this for way too long. just don’t hate me”

“i’m not, but idk things with change to be honest”

“okay”

 

and that was it. i told martin and he was just like “we can still be friends, and i knew nothing serious was going to happen between us so it’s okay. you never know things might change in the future.” so pretty much i have no hope for any type of future with martin. and as for samantha, she didn’t even talk to me today. like she just ignored me as much as she could and would act like she didn’t see me if she saw me in the halls at school. this makes no sense to me? what reason does she have to give me cold shoulder??? did i do something wrong? really don’t think so but whatever. i go through all this trouble to not be anything more than friends with martin JUST SO I CAN STILL BE HER FRIEND and what do i get in return? OH TEH LOVELY COLD SHOULDER. greaaaaaat. now i have no Martin, and no Samantha. and no one to talk to about it. no one to relate to. nothing. i’m just here drenched in my sadness. i’ve had this feeling behind my eyes of wanting to cry since like last night. i hate that feeling. 

it’s a good thing i checked out a book today at the library. time to disappear into another world since mine sucks again! :D

oh yeah i also went to the college/career center today at school. it was just horrible. basically the lady told the class about how the college application process is coming up, and how applications cost up to 75 dollars, and how you need to start sending your SAT scores in and all this and that and i just feel so unprepared. like really, what am i going to do.. everyone has their stuff planned out. everyone is on the right track to an awesome adultlike independent future. and here i am blogging about how my friend ignored me over a boy. 

i am such a complainer. 

okay bye now

HI EVERYONE :D

i missed you, blog of mine. lol i don’t remember the last time i posted, maybe like a couple days ago. but it seems like an eternity ago! ANYWAYS! how is everyone!? i would actually like to know. tell me in the comments (if you aren’t shy :)) how you honestly have been. as for me, i have actually been pretty good! i wouldn’t necessarily say “happy” because there are still some minor things i need to work out in my life before i can consider myself happy but for now i am good. if you’re curious about those minor things i will tell you!

1. Danny was high and told me he liked me???? ugh 

2. The problem is i like Martin :(

3. Danny doesn’t know about Martin, and Martin doesn’t know about Danny. what the actual. i mean it’s not like i’m flirting with Danny or anything cause i’m not, but i still feel guilty for some reason.

4. Danny also said that he would be lying if he said he had zero feelings for me (which is a problem because he barely knows me) and that i should stop sending mixed signals? UGH basically i’m going to have to possibly break his heart and say i just want to be friends. will i tell him i like someone else? HA NO R U STUPID 

5. the other day, i was with my close friends Samantha and Diana and they saw Martin’s name pop up on my phone (cause we text all the time) and Samantha said “damn you stay texting Martin” and i said “is that a bad thing?” and Diana said “it’s cause you don’t talk to your friend’s exes” -______- yeah so the background on that is that Samantha and Martin “dated” in like 7th grade? lol like who really calls that a real relationship. so yeah either they were just messing with me, or they were dead serious and trying to tell me that i can’t ever date Martin because Samantha once dated him for like a week -____- oh and this is not the first time this has happened. so yeah. 

6. i told Martin all of this and basically he’s just tired of feeling like nothing will ever happen between us. and ya know i really feel like i’m stuck between a rock and a hard place! what am i to do? “betray” my friends to date him and hangout with him at school? or tell Martin that we will never be anything because my friends are supposedly not okay with it? those are two horrible options. hence the reason why i haven’t really taken any sort of action. i’m just waiting. for what you ask? IDK.

7. i haven’t taken my SATs for college :( and i don’t even have a license or a job. how am i suppose to become an adult if i have none of these! 

so yup. das how ma lyfe has been ~ any suggestions on what i should do about the Martin or Danny ordeal? my thoughts on the whole Danny-liking-me situation is just that i don’t even understand how or why? like we don’t even text! i haven’t had a real conversation with him in like a week or more. all we do is snapchat eachother a few times a day and that is it. literally. i have now idea how this kid can like me or whatever, all i know is that i wish i didn’t because then it would be easier for me to say i just want to be his friend. IDK SOMEONE JUST HELP ME PLS

okay bye now

GUESS WHO HAD A GOOD DAY

this girl, right here, had a pretty decent day. that’s all i wanted to say. i hope everyone else’s day is AWESOME so far. okay bye now

Other Nonsense

When I Am Alive

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